"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
What Is the 7th Step?
Step 7 of the 12-Step Program asks that the person suffering from addiction takes the step and asks God to make changes in his heart and life. This step also provides invaluable insight into the positive characteristics that can replace old problem behaviors.
The seventh step is one of action. Your loved one must be willing to verbally acknowledge to God all the shortcomings that are in his life, such as selfishness, dishonesty and deception, and replace these with positive attributes.
What Are the Qualities That Are Vital to This Step?
The first word in step 7 is "Humbly," which is also referred to as humility. According to Alcoholics Anonymous, humility is the "foundation principle" of the 12 steps. Those who struggle with substance addiction have put themselves before their loved ones.
They have lived selfishly by harming their young bodies and putting the importance of their loved ones behind their concerns for their own personal pleasure. By showing humility, your loved one can put others before himself and realize that what he does impacts others. By showing humility, he is better able to accept his life's purpose.
To humbly ask for God's help in creating a change in character, your loved one will also need courage and wisdom. The courage is to ask for help and know that he will accept the changes taking place in his life. The wisdom is to recognize when God is making those changes and to realize the events that occur next – no matter how difficult – are a part of sobriety.
How You Can Help Your Loved One Put This into Action
Showing humility, courage and wisdom can take time and practice for a person that has lived at least some part of his life abusing a particular substance. Asking God to take away a self-serving nature can be hard and requires the support of others.
If your loved one is working through step 7, you could ask what challenges he's had currently that could make completing this step seem difficult. You could ask your loved one what step 7 means to him and if he has seen any instances of where God is working to make changes.
You could ask him about his ideas for gaining further courage and wisdom. As another trusted voice in the conversation, you could provide encouraging feedback on how the man's efforts are paying off. You could offer up specific instances you have observed in the time since he has starting working the seventh step.
These actions can help reinforce change in your loved one. You all may also discuss together what other traits are important for someone in recovery to display and think of further ways a man can live his life more humbly and with a greater purpose.